whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
