omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
