Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
