Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
is wine microwaveable?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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