did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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