I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
