I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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