it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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