She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
