We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
