I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
