Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
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The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
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Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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