there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
