I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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