I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
