she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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