at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
