Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
