dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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