How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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