I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
