Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
