Nicole vs. Life
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
His hands were made for my vagina.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
