Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize