she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
