Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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