can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
