Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
