so explain again why im purple
no
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
