onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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