he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
