So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You're a waste of cheezeits
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
How does it feel to date your dad?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
