All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
operation have a gay friend backfired
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
