we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize