"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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