Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
