Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize