i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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