one two three fourrrrnication!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
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