Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
