No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
