First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
