Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
