I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
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