Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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