yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
