After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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