I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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