Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
