I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
