I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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