my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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