i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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