it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
did i walk over a car last night?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize