I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
