Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
