My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Drunk is not a location!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize