Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize