You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
