You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
