cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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