i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
